5.14
driving past the Cumberland gap
that is where I left
just settled myself and looked out
at all your unsettle every mountain
dissolving at the center
with you followers charging to the top
and some of the small ones aren’t even
trying to fuck everyone else over
honest to you you windbag so I left
on the 21st, the holiday I turned
on the cruise control because we
will never see the mountain top sinners
I roll down my window and
see your unsettle so I make
like I‘m tossing a cigarette but
I get one gangly over the door and I’m
going for it hear horns blow like trumpets
hailing from a windbag and
now I’m outside the car that has
been dissolving from the inside out
while I’ve been listening to teddy tell me that
you will never go away and
I will never escape from you
who are always and only a ghost
despite your text so just let me
ride shot gun during that split hair moment
of terror I’ll divide the goats
from the sheep the ghosts
from the sheets with my 70
mph sword of narrow perspective the clearing
is just ahead I know
because we are happening at the same time
5.16
sperm whale apolcolypse
they could fly and breathe fire
I’m pretty sure but you can
never be sure in a dream
boy told me,
“you’re subconscious is always dreaming,
isn’t that cool?”
no it isn’t you fucking fire-breathing
lizard anti-christ that means
the rapture is happening right now
over and over every second is the
end of a small world the departure
of a dead little Christian inside me
and that very real sense of doom I felt in my child’s waking life
when I heard a loud noise sound outside my window
that trumpet is always sounding I’m always being
separated from the inside out
that even though we are chaos there
is a false but constant order inside me and
I’m always last always in charge and always last
and I’m no jesus so last means last
and I’m not coming back for me if
any thing I’ve been trying to lose
my soul even when I was jesus see
that’s what sainthood is all about finding
the fire-breathing sperm whale inside you
and tearing at your skin-bits until all that’s
left is the dream so if I could please get swallowed and
leave nothing but my myths behind that would
be great, thanks.
5.20
nothing to cling to in hell so
roll through the want
over if you want it
want to dream open a net
that nets around your ankle
you think it’ll slip off for the angle
but your instinct is a dead slap some days
it wraps and jerks you up
which is surprising & stimulating & salvation
but mostly the most terrifying feeling of
all new body like puberty but it’s 2011 instead
of 2002 like they all promised make me
up pretty daddy like an angel
blow me up into the sky without warning
just like a little angel daddy
fire off some set some on fire 